Gary S. Fisher, Psy. D., C.A.D.C.

healing, integration, authenticity

The Dis-ease

In defining the dis-ease, it is viewed as a disconnection or separation from one’s core/true/authentic self (which I also define as the spirit) where the individual begins to live out of a center that is ego based and due to its separation from the authentic self which is the portal to the Universe, or in other words, all of life, it is also very fear based. I refer to that disconnected center as the ‘head’, which is different from the mind, where one performs the daily functions of life, work, social interactions, etc.

Dis-ease and Trauma

The disconnection is almost always associated with and stems from a trauma, many times in early infancy/childhood, and can come from either Big T or Little T trauma(s). Big T trauma refers to those discrete events or circumstances that virtually all people would view as being traumatic such as childhood sexual molestation, physical abuse, rape, war, natural disasters, witnessing a violent act, etc. Little T trauma refers to events and circumstances that are usually not universally accepted or seen as being traumatic and many times happen for an extended time period on a regular basis even taking place nearly every day. Examples of these are emotionally absent parent(s), growing up in an unhappy, depressed, anxious, or angry household, lack of adequate physical contact in early childhood, inability to gain acceptance or validation from one’s care givers, etc.

Dis-eased Psyche

Because of the self-centeredness of childhood whereby everything that is or that happens is an extension of the individual’s self, it leads to that individual taking the responsibility for whatever trauma occurs. The failure of the individual to get their emotional and/or physical safety needs met leads to the formation of the first of the core beliefs of the addicted individual.
The first core belief is that there is something wrong, bad, broken, missing in me making me inadequate and unloveable, and that as a result of that core belief, the second core belief that life will never work out for me comes into being. It is impossible to stay emotionally connected with oneself if I believe that I am unloveable and therefore I must disconnect to survive.

While the consequences of disconnecting may not be apparent for a considerable number of years, the two core beliefs are at work unconsciously molding one’s behaviors to protect oneself from the idea of being unloveable at all costs. Protection is characterized by behaviors designed to avoid or numb one’s feelings, and as the need to avoid grows, the behaviors solidify and become inflexible, thus leading to addiction and the inability to stop the behavior(s). This leads to a buildup of repressed emotions and feelings, brings about a continued inability to feel loved and make life work out no matter how much effort one puts forth, and thus reinforces the need to be disconnected.